she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
