And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
