She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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