sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
