U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize