I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
