i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't think brook has ever known best
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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