His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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