Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
