In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
