u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
