i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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