We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
