ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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