I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
