someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
