this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
