We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
