Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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