As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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