You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize