Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
