im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
