The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You dont lie about slip and slides
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize