No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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