Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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