Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
be right there i have to get my cape
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
