My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
