Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize