I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
