; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
