just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
