He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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