Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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