I need help removing her.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
