1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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