i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
