I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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