The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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