i love accidental penises.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
