I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
