And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
