If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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