So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
