I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
