Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There's even glitter on my cock...
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