Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
