Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
