he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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