Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Are my feet made of real feet?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
