Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
