He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
