yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize