i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.