i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.