the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay