Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
