I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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