This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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