I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Can I color on your dick again?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
