Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
