just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
