very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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