i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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