my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
