I just threw up on my dentist
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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