Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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