My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
