remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize